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Submitted on
December 1, 2012


25,144 (1 today)
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Just another [serious] help journal I suppose.

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 1, 2012, 5:11 PM
  • Mood: Neutral
GalleryCommission INFOTaxidermy AccountTumblr

Don't really know what to title this, oh well.

I apologize before hand as well, this is a long journal, but if you could take the time and read it I'd mean the world to me, I know it's a lot, but it's a lot to explain so it all seems clearer.

I really hate doing things like this, it makes me feel like a mooch and like I don't care about my watchers or appreciate them, which I do, you guys mean the world to me, each comment is much appreciated, each gift art means everything to me, the fact that you guys take the time out of your days to make something for me in hopes to bring me cheer or a smile, and when you guys offer support when I'm down, and art of your characters comforting mine. The long notes elaborating how I'm your idol, and I helped you in some sort of way, be it art, sexuality, break up, self harm, I know I can't do a lot and I can't help a lot, but I want you guys to know I'm there for you as much as you are for me, and I may be slow! But I have a lot of messages daily, and it's hard to get back as quickly as I'd wish, none the less; I just want you guys to know and never forget that I appreciate every one of you, I appreciate the comments, the favorites, the notes, the help, the comfort, the support, everything, and don't let anyone get you down or make you feel bad for supporting someone they don't like.

I guess I just wanted to get that out before the rest of this, that way you guys know you are more than ''helping me out with money issues'' and whatnot, because it's so much more, and you guys are so much more.

Now, this journal isn't for me, but my mother.

She came into my room today and asked for a hug, and as I hugged her she told me she felt like a failure, like she couldn't do everything anymore and she doesn't know what to do. I asked her what she meant, and she said we're behind 6,000$ in rent [our rent is 2,000$ a month incase anyone's wondering] She lost her first job because her boss wants to be a controlling freak and now she is denying my mother commission money [she works at a wedding chapel as a coordinator.] unless she goes down to the chapel, which my mom can't because of a host who has sexual attractions for her and has verbally harassed her and has secretly watched her breast feed my baby sister in the photo room [no one is allowed in there unless showing photos, my mom was granted permission since she couldn't leave the baby at home cause this was soon after she was born and her 6 week was over.]. He has leaned over her and even gone looking for her, he is obsessed with her and my mom has denied going back down there until he is told off for his actions, or fired. She has even tried to contact lawyers, but no ones replying to her.

[She works from home, I should mention, using the chapels email to forward and reply to leads and questions.]

She is working at another chapel at the moment, and we are barely thriving off what she gets there, which is under 1,000 a month. My brother had taking up a job their, because the owner offered 1,000$ a month for working their, plus commission, however he had to work from 10 AM to 7 PM 6 days a week, in this case he'd be making more than he did at his previous job, so he had quit that job to proceed with the other, now the boss has gone back on what she said, she is scolding my brother for not bringing in commissions when her other employee is snatching each one that comes in to help pay off her car, giving my brother no chance, leaving him in a lose lose situation.

My mom is trying to find new homes for our horses. She is giving them away for free but no one is taking them, one person was interested in our half blind camping/trail horse Charlie, but they ditched, and she only wants Star and Peaches [our two mares] to go to female owner, I'll let you figure out why.

She is trying to find homes for our dogs, too, Cookie and Riley, and we'd get rid of most of our cats if they weren't feral or strays that we take care of the best we can because; life is hard.

Anyway, she's struggling, and it hurt so goddamn bad to hold my mom and listen to her call herself a failure and mourn over what she can't do anymore and tell me how scared she is. She did not request I make this journal, in fact she is completely oblivious to it.

I understand this month, being December is not the best month to do something like this considering everyone trying to get gifts for one another, but anything, anything at all would help more than anyone can imagine.

What I want for Christmas is for our rent to be paid, I want food in the house and bills paid and a smile on my moms face, anything. I want my mom to not have to stress anymore, I don't want to hear her call herself a failure and tell me how scared she is that she's not doing good and we're going to lose everything. I want my mom to be able to relax, and I don't want to see her up at 4 AM in the morning anymore taking sleeping pills to force herself to sleep due to her stress. She has been there for me and to support me, in everything, my sexuality, my choices, my passions, etc, now I want to support her, and help her, and show her how much I care and appreciate her.

I apologize dearly that I can't do anything in return, however, with what I can, I will try to send out thank you christmas cards to people who helped out, I might not be able to get to all, but I'll try my best, it's the best I can offer right now, I apologize dearly. I just want my mom to be stress free, for once, I want to help her but I can't do that on my own, I've tried to get jobs to help her out but I never get a call back.

Any money sent will be sent straight to her, and if sent via mail it will be marked in her name and meant for her.

I feel awful for asking for something like this from you guys, but I don't know what else to do, I'm even going to attempt to stand outfront of a store like a bum to get something in, it's bad, but I just want to help my mom, so badly. I don't want to hear those words from her again, and I want her to consent to sleep, and sleep peacefully, not forcefully with the help of pills.

Anything will help, from 50 cents, to just a dollar, to even an advertise. Anything, she needs help so badly and this is the best I can do, I've already offered what I had to her..

If you wan to help, you can send the money via PAYPAL or through the mail in money order or check, or just cash [cash would be easiest]. If you send it through PayPal, I will give you the email address to my mothers PayPal, if you send it via mail, it will be addressed to her. None of this is going to me, so I don't want anyone pulling any ''oh its a trick for hina to mooch'' because it's not, and I know people are going to proclaim such.

I hope this all didn't sound to confusing, and I hope I don't sound like a bad person or a moocher for doing this, but this isn't for me, it's for my mom, and my family.

If you want to help out, please send me a note and we'll further discuss in there, thank you for reading, I'm sorry for the TL;DR, but I felt explaining it would make more sense than just tossing out ''hey we need money help''. Even if you can't send anything, an advertise would help greatly, anything at all will help..

Any rude or disrespectful comments will be hidden, and the user will be blocked, I'm sorry but I don't need anyone trying to start drama or anysuch over this or trying to tell people it's a trick or a mooch when it's not. So if anyone has any negative feelings towards it and trie to insult me or this subject on the matter, will be blocked and your comment hidden. Save your finger pecks.

Thank you for reading, and understanding, and again, I appreciate all of you and everything you do, I hope I don't come off as moochy to any of you, ever. I care for you all, just like you do for me. Honestly.. :heart:


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SpookFox Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I wish I could help you but I cant send any money but I do hope you can get the amount you need for everything.
Thief-Of-Eternity Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:bulletorange::bulletblue: Hey! hey, Rena. :bulletblue::bulletorange:
I've kind of been thinking about it and
I'd be more than happy to take money commissions and make people send the money under your paypal name. To help support your mother..? (If you still need help).
Think you can note me or come back to me about it? Thanks. <3 I really want to help you out, friend.
neck-bites Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
I was just skimming the comments section and I noticed that a lot of people really can't help much. Probably because most of them are young and don't have job that pay well and things such as that. Luckily I've been able to snag a part time job in a sneaker store. I work on minimum wage and commissions and make roughly...$200 a week if I work hard enough and make sales. Usually when people are in need of money because of some really big issue, I'm one to donate because I like helping people. No one should be struggling around the holidays, you guys should be stress free :/ But anyway, I make enough money to be able to send you some. By my next pay check, I might be able to send you maybe $90? Depends on how much I have since I do tend to save up a lot. I'm feeling really generous since you're in a really tight situation. While you having people helping you by sending money, I think there's a couple things you should be doing as well. If I'm not mistaken, dA points can be turned into money, yes? If so, you should open up a donation pool on your page and have people donate points. You should also open up your commissions ( I know you're busy, but you can draw maybe little simple chibis for about 5 bucks or so. ). Make more adopts like you did before and sell them for cash. You have such a large fan base that people will literally throw their money at you for little drawings. Start advertising your taxidermy account a bit more, get as much attention on yourself as you can. Also, if you are not too busy in real life, try your best to snag a part time job. Doesn't matter where, just anywhere so that you can get some money in your pocket. I'll send you a note momentarily just so we can discus something before I send any money c:
slicermorgan Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I know almost exactly what your going through Hina. I'm not going to get into any details but I did want to say something: Just BELIEVE that everything will be alright. Putting that good energy out there will really help, trust me. I have taken the time to read this whole thing and I have to tell ya, it really tugged at my heart strings. You are my idol. And I believe that you have a deep connection with your watchers as well as your art. You have inspired a lot of people. But the main thing is to just belive and know that everything is gunna be alright.
Frozendawn404 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so sorry that I cant do anything. I really wish I could, I'd give every cent I have to help you if I could, but all I can do is pray for you and your family.
I hope things get better soon
Thief-Of-Eternity Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If only I had 6,000$. :C
When the bad luck has passed, lives will pick up. Lives will become better. Everything happens as it does, and time goes on. Good luck to you and your Mother.. <3
RockyGems Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
You could try selling fursuits again? I remember you used to love doing that and made a lot of money from it.

I can't help you personally, I'm so sorry, but I just thought I might suggest that.
PsychoServal Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh Rena bby. I'll try and help anyway I can. When I get my Paycheck on Saturday I will see how much I can send over, babe you're the sweetest for helping out your mum <3
CocoaSnowflakes Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I can't send any money, but I will advertise for you. Hopefully, you can get all the money your family needs. :s :hug:
xNinjaMuffinz Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. D: It is truly the worst time for all of this, considering Christmas is just around the corner, it's just horrible! I really hope you can get enough money, and you're mom, and this whole situation can be fixed c:
I really wish I had the money to help you... Even if it's a couple bucks. I will try and I will be praying for you <3
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